Dear heart...




Dear heart
As you are aware we know each other for a long time (47 and half years now…) so I think I’m able to say we are almost friends…
Many things went through us…
32 years of dealing with problems (sickness, stubbornness, loneliness, lack of money… you name it…) and somehow we survive it all…
I suppose by now you should now what is your function… but that knowledge seems not to be very clear…
Remember 1981? First time you went straight out of line doing what is not suppose to be done…
At that time I was still a foolish dreamer (still am a bit… never learned how to stop dream…)
My first love … remember her? N., Petit, black hair, lovely smile… for two years I loved her in silence without courage to tell …
When I learned she will went to other school in the next year, I got the courage to wright a love letter (my first and only one) and managed to give it to her…
Fool i am… never got the courage to ear the answer… even today when once in a while i see her i still think what would have been my life if i knew the answer…
You didn’t help anything, but 12 years later (1996) you decided again to do what is not your job…
Gave me a big crush that almost killed me…
Your big idea dropped me into the bottom of the ocean and it was so really hard to come back…
Five long years of pain… a text message “I didn’t like to see you today… if you keep this way you will die…”… one person in the world care about me… how odd…still it saved me...
I worked 15 hours a day, 365 days a year, during almost 3 years… but i returned to the surface… (at least part of me)
I just promise myself never more to believe in you… never more to love…
But you are bad… really bad… had to place in my path a perfect woman and made me fall totally for her…
Now I’m suffering more than ever… bet you are laughing…
The laws of nature force us to stay with each other and if it’s that the only way, we must get along the best way we can…
Dear heart…
Let me ask you to just keep doing your job – pumping the blood… don’t do things you’re not ment for…
I know it’s a boring job (I also have one) but you don’t need to enjoy yourself by making me suffer…

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